Growing up the way I did, I was extremely skeptical about people. My lack of confidence was so powerful; trust wasn't something I didn't even bother to put on the menu when it came to dealing with people. Coming to recovery and being told to trust people went down about the same way as people talking about god and higher power... it was bullshit and wasn't going to happen.
What did happen for me was to be open-minded and begin to try and understand it in a real way, instead of the fake and unrealistic way society looks at the principle. I started with focusing on and defining what disrupts confidence or trust in my relationships with myself and others. Everyone has their personal thing. For me, it's basically three things.
1) People who tell me who I am instead of asking me who I am.
2) People who make arbitrary decisions at me or about me.
3) And people who are careless with my personhood, including people who talk me or others down... or gossip about me or others in a way not to help but rather to diminish, harm, and bury; instead of being clear and direct with authentic compassion and kindness.
If any or all of those things are happening, those are the people I tend to be either reserved with, disconnect from, or just plain old avoid.
Given the above, rather than going through the gymnastics of trying to "Trust people" or "Figure out" who I can trust, I put my time and energy into trusting my values, applying them in and around people to the best of my ability. That has been extremely helpful for me. In this way, rather than "Giving trust away," I keep my center of gravity within my values and myself, not depending on people to show up other than who they are in the given moment. In that way, I'm happier in my heart and head.
Just For Today, I deepen my trust in my values and spiritual principles by living them and sharing them with others to have the best opportunity for healthy interactions instead of toxic.
信 躬 倫 道 | Shin Kyū Rīn Dō
Trust oneself to ethical bearing and living by one's values with integrity as a Way of freedom.