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The Zen of Not Trying to Text Our Way through Difficult Conversations that are Better Had in Person


Not sure who needs to hear this today... Here we go!


In my direct experience, trying to navigate emotional and/or psychologically charged conversational challenges, differences, disagreements, hurts, and perhaps arguments over text messages were *NEVER!* my best choice. I can't recall one time when I did that and afterward was like... "Wow! That was awesome! That shit makes me feel better."


If I'm hemmed up, I use text messages to request that we do a call... FaceTime... FB call or video conference... Zoom... meet for coffee... offer to get some food, and sit down to talk with them rather than at them. I also usually bring a pen and a piece of paper, write down the concerns, challenges, and points, and work with them from there.


If they choose not to call, video, or meet, I'm like, great! I can let it go and move on to the best of my ability without trying to win their approval. What's done is done. Most of the time, things don't get worked out in the heat of the moment, but when people have time to calm down... perhaps reflect... and collect ourselves having talked with a sponsor or mentor.


If they try to text storm me, I let them know that I'm temporarily turning off their notifications as a courtesy and call it a day. That's my version of 'turning my will and life over to common sense and my values as I understand them at that moment.'


Is that the right or wrong way to handle such situations? I have no idea. Right and wrong is not the metric I'm searching for. But it is helpful in supporting a little inward calm.


--Thanks For Letting Me Share... I Pass

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