When I took up recovery from active addiction, investing and engaging in Zen training and paths of healing... what I didn't know... couldn't be prepared for... was the fact that to truly open my eyes to the Reality of my true nature... I would be required to shed and stop holding onto a carefully cultivated and crafted identity I projected into the world. My ego was terrified and pissed at the same time at the idea of doing that. There was so much time, and effort put into holding up and caring for what was a hollow and false sense of self. What an absolute bummer!
Instead of being wrapped in what turned out to be pretty thin armor, designed to protect what thought and felt vulnerable to the whims and mercy of others... Forged out of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual insecurity, I learned to decloak and embrace my authentic nature, that's always worthy of my trust, to rest peacefully in solidarity with it, and creatively manifest as Universal Loving Presence, guided by goodwill and my values. Instead of living every day like, “I gotta figure this shit out channel,” life is much more like an ongoing discovery of happiness channel or experience that I can stay tuned to with the help of consistent Zen practice; that now feels first nature instead of second or third. As a result, in my experience, it's been much easier to be friendly in my heart and head.
一Dignity and Grace