Am I allowed to get things wrong or do I have to be perfect... especially when I've never met a happy perfectionist... within myself or others? I used to struggle with that a lot... making a mistake or having a mis-take, and spending an inordinate amount of time trying to win others or myself over... desperately trying to fix... backtrack... undo... genuflect... to prove that I'm not a goof. That experience sucked a lot. And then Ruth... my mentor gave me permission to "Lower the bar..." which for someone with never-ending don't fuck the moment up mind was terrified of, coming from a family where in some way, guilt and shame was on the menu every day. It took me a long time to learn how to get comfortable inside my skin, and walk that path as a kind of "Middle way."
Mistakes and mis-takes are happening for me all the time. What I'm able to notice... especially in meditation playbacks of experience... mistakes and mis-takes land differently for me when they're arising from altruism mind rather than poverty mind.
How will we we use or mistakes and mis-takes? Will we lay them on the anvil of the mind and let the chattering ego beat the humanity out of us, strike after strike, or will we offer it support like a flower or something that's growing in our internal garden and help what was crooked grow straight with a heart and mind of compassion? That's a difficult choice for far too many.
What is zen? Shoshaku jushaku (將錯就錯)! Learning to meet continuous mistakes... hopefully with some humaneness. As Milerapa the old yogi encouraged... May we discover a way to live and die without regret.
一We All Share the Same Sky
Calligraphy note: the “Mujin Zen Seiho Zan Sen,” could be translated as without being misled by ego, unified we pass through what seemed to be impossible difficulties beyond mountains and rivers.