Reflecting on recovery expressions we sometimes use, where there seems to be significant misunderstandings... In my direct experience, “Minding my business” doesn’t mean being indifferent… not getting involved... being distant and aloof… ignoring… pretending their problems aren't happening... or avoiding the experiences and challenges of my friends, because they may be inconvenient.
For me, it means letting my friends directly know that they're seen and respected... that I'm efforting not to be careless with their personhood... We all need to hear that sometimes. It doesn't matter who we are. That can include acknowledging struggles without interfering with someone's opportunity to practice self-care and personal responsibility; while simultaneously letting them know that I'm on their team. That's known as solidarity and unity through community.
At first, I wasn't very good at doing that. In fact, I was pretty damn unskillful. I persisted and learned, having a sense that I improved as a result of conscious intentionality. That's what makes friendship such a powerful, loving meditation practice.
一Dignity and Grace