One of the questions I frequently ask fellow addict's i get to share recovery with is, "When's the last time you were thinking something, and it turned out to be wrong?" It's common to hear responses like, "All the time," or "5 minutes ago." The follow-up question, that takes many up short, or at least influences a pause is when I ask, "When's the last time your intuition was wrong?"
Usually I get one of two responses. If the person is in tune with their intuitive nature, they usually respond, "It's almost never wrong." For those people, my next question is, "If you're thinking so wrong, and intuition is so right, what does it cost you to rely on something that's wrong so much of the time, and not trust your intuition to navigate experiences more?" The response to that question is almost always, "My happiness." And that's when I say... "You're invited to let that sink in... your own experience could be everything you need to know."
If the person doesn't have clarity with their intuitive nature they'll usually say they can't tell the difference between their thoughts and intuition. My encouragement to them is to make that a project. Making the time to do that is important to recovery. Having that relationship with Intuition, which I sometimes refer to as the inner mentor, guide, or friend has been essential to me. The one word of warning that I share with others, is what my sponsor shared with me... "If you're trying to 'figure it out,' that's not intuition... you'll notice by the feeling, not the thinking." That experience shared with me has served me well.
If you asked me how intuition works, or where it comes from, my answer is simple. I have no idea. I really don't get how electricity works. Despite that fact, I never hesitate to make use of it. As one addict taught me, "I can surrender my need to understand." I can't tell you how many times I've been doing stuff, and someone randomly came to mind. Instead of just letting the name sit there, I text or call them. I've never regretted doing that. Sometimes I get an intuitive vibe to do something, share, or give something in a moment. Instead of sitting there, trying to analyze or game out the reason in my head, I let go and just do it. Sometimes after a meeting, people ask me to go get something to eat, the intuitive hit says go, but the thinking mind says no, and despite that no, I usually say yes and share time, which has always been worth it. In my experience thinking stops, blocks or gets me to hesitate and miss the moment, whereas intuition allows things to flow. Though in the early years of my recovery, I didn't have a good handle on it, today I relate to it as creative action, based in goodwill. That's enough for me.
Just for today, I will make time to nurture and support awareness and conscious contact with my intuitive nature. I will intentionally accept responsibility for building the relationship with that still, and small voice within me. I will use it as a part of how I navigate my experiences, and see how things go.
Calligraphy Note:
直感 | chōkkān | Intuitive Awareness