Zen Master Kôdô Sawaki, once shared “There are those who worry on their day of ordination: “Oh boy, now I’m a monk, but will I be able to pass through my whole life as one?” That kind of worry is unnecessary. Be a monk for that day only. Live each day as a monk for that day only.”
This guidance is tremendous. When the o-kesa was placed on my left shoulder, I was joyful and scared shitless at the same time; fearful of somehow being an impostor... or not living up to what would be expected of me. That went on for a while... until the moment of my mother's death 3 months later, sharing with her the moment of her last breath, standing at the foot of her bed; chanting the Heart Sutra.
In hindsight is the realization my mother gave birth to me for a second time. Fear and self-doubt dissolved without effort. It was a shift from transaction to the realization that I was a caterpillar in the cocoon of practice transforming into a kind of butterfly.
And so now, what would happen if we reframed Kôdô Zenji's words and put it This Way... “There are those who worry about their purpose... who and what are we going to be: “Yikes, I have so many doubts about how my life will turn out. I want to make perfect choices; I don't want to fuck up my life! How will I be able to pass through my life as a successful person?” That kind of worry is unnecessary. Be a human-being instead of the never-ending accomplishing machine for that day only. Live each day as a human-being for that day only.” What could happen then?
一We All Share the Same Sky