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Challenge and Reservations | One Addicts Experience


What makes a challenge a challenge for us? For me personally, it's more than the things that seem hard. It's more like the things that trigger my insecurity that can manifest as anxiety... restlessness... irritability... disconnection... and discontent. That's when I discover my reservations AKA things that mentally and emotionally hold me back... the things that superglue my feet to the floor cause I'm scared to do anything, or do avoidance behavior cause the disease and unease that lives and transacts within me is challenged at its sense of comfort being overthrown. It's at that point procrastination can be a "Thing."


When I was a kid, we lived in an amazing home. It was far more than a house. I'm really appreciative of that. Anywho, my brother used to have fun, at my expense by telling me super scary stories that in my 8 and 9-year-old mind terrified me. At night I'd head upstairs to my bedroom... pause standing in the doorway... turn on the light switch, get down on my knees to look under the bed to see if there were monsters underneath... and listen carefully. My heart would beat faster... I'd sweat sometimes if I heard a noise... and stand there wondering if something was going to get me. I'd back up to the wall, run to the door and leap and land on the bed, so that nothing could grab my ankles, surviving another night.


It was the very real-world unmanageability of a child, based on a story that the mind ran away with... that honestly made me confused and angry. Why'd my brother do it? Simple. Humor at first, but once he saw my reaction, it turned into a kind of power trip for him, seeing how much control he could have over his kid brother. He actually owned that, when we became adults.


How'd I get through it? My Mom. She said, "I trust you to bring up the courage of a knight of the "Round table," and meet anything that stands in front of you. Make determination and the fact that you're a Morris your armor and you will get through anything because you are my son." She gifted me with fearing-less-ness, helping me to connect with what is already within myself, that when the mind is noisy can block awareness and conscious contact with the reality of our automatic nature.


The lesson I learned from that experience is that when I run from things that trigger my insecurity, fear expands. When I turn into and towards them squarely and meet them with a warrior mind, fear collapses, I experience things as they actually are and there are no challenges or problems that cannot be met. If there's any "Magic," involved it's the M.A.G.I.C. of Me And Grace of my values and spiritual principles in Conscious-contact.


The above said We are in a co-creative relationship with our values, spiritual principles, and our willingness to take action and live by them. As we take care of them, they take care of us, as we face our challenges. It's been said, we cannot control the wind, but we can control how we set our sails. True. What's also true is we don't have to be dominated by the negativity of mind that's the disease of addiction. We can build self-esteem through esteemable acts rooted in fierce Love.


Just for today, challenges come and go, but the connection to our values do not, because we are our values. Today we consciously and intentionally apply them, facing our challenges with the dignity and grace they open for us.


Calligraphy Note:


挑戦| Chōsen | Challenge or difficulty that triggers great apprehension or fear.

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