In a workshop discussing “Choice, Voice, and Boundaries,” I was struck hard when one of the panelist by the name of Adrienne Maree Brown shared…
“Rather than have others perceive me as rejecting them, I felt the greatest act of kindness I could provide is to let others who may not have had what's best for me in mind harm me. It took me a minute to understand that, that was the result of unhealthy conditioning, and begin to cultivate the tools to stop doing that to myself.
That's when I discovered that my ability to say "No," to what's unacceptable for me, made a way for my "Yes."
Her take was incredibly heart felt reminding me of an important lesson I had to imitate, assimilate and integrate into my own healing process: Boundaries are a thing… they’re about “reality not fantasy…” and I can’t hold a boundary… which are my values I use as a compass to navigate my relationships with others… and take care of other people’s feelings at the same time.
一Dignity and Grace