Non-Compete Agreement With Self

One of the things a consistent meditation practice helped me notice was just how NOISY my head could be… and how much unnecessary suffering comes from competing with ourselves. All of it happening through thought not necessarily reality!

One part of self arguing with another… thoughts competing with thoughts… feelings resisting feelings… an ongoing conversation in which I somehow managed to become BOTH sides of the argument!

What became even more helpful was noticing this wasn't a monologue… it was a dialogue. What Internal Family Systems (IFS) describes as different "parts" of ourselves. The inner critic arguing with the part wanting acceptance… the fearful part competing with the part wanting freedom… the protector trying to control everything while another part just wants peace. Parts competing with parts.

Weirder still… was an awareness of observing the whole thing! Watching these competing narratives without necessarily becoming another participant.

The body might appear perfectly still… but what's going on in our brain? And then we wonder why we're exhausted!

Meditation didn't turn off the thoughts, feelings, or narratives. What it gave me was something far more useful… choices and options in how I responded to the mind running on autopilot.

Thoughts continued coming and going all by themselves… without asking my permission! What changed was my relationship with what the mind was doing.

I began recognizing that just because a conversation was happening inside my head didn't mean I had to participate… much less choose a side or win the argument.

We're not trying to silence thoughts or make any part of ourselves go away… we're learning that we don't have to compete with ourselves.

The invitation to happiness could be simpler than we imagine… taking a little time off from what the mind is doing and returning our attention to the actual, living experience of this present moment.

NOT another thought ABOUT living… but actually living.

In my experience, that change of relationship made an huge difference realizing the mind can suffer a lot through its self created narratives, that aren't actually me. Please consider.

一Dignity and Grace