Addiction is a contradiction to living. It is a state of mind which relies on convincing ourselves that drugs are necessary to maintain our sense of well-being. For us, an addict is a person who uses drugs, in any form, to the extent that the individual cannot live normally with or without them. On one hand we sought feelings of superiority, and on the other, we accepted the most intolerable existence on earth.
Some of the highs felt great, especially in the beginning, but the things we had to tolerate to support our habits reflected desperation. We sank to the depths of stealing, lying, prostituting ourselves (our values), and cheating our friends. we manipulated people and conditions and tried to control all of their actions. We failed to realize that the need for control sprang from the fear of losing control. This fear, based in part on past failures and disappointments, prevented us from making meaningful choices.
Freedom from our destructiveness covering up the wreckage of the past has been the main stumbling block in relating to others. By recognizing the character limitations, and letting go of them physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, sanity (soundness of heart and mind) is restored to us. In applying spiritual principles to our lives, we keep an open heart and mind. (Kindness, Integrity, Authenticity) Patience, Humility and Tolerance are essential. It would seem that the path of recovery and healing involves spiritual principles'. Spiritual indifference will surely lead to relapse (not just drugs but our self-centered behavior that results in suffering).
Destructive behavior is often corrected as soon as we loosened our grip on our old ways. We found that the fear of change was replaced by a sense of (relief), wonder and adventure. Freedom to change seems to come mainly after our acceptance of ourselves... (allowing us to experience peace of heart and mind).
一Dignity, Grace and Contentment
Notes:
Calligraphy: is based on the characters 安心 Ánshin which means peace within our heart and mind.
Textual quotes are from various literature created by Narcotics Anonymous members.