top of page

Forgiveness Could Be Understood As A Process Not An Event

Forgiveness is not a yes or no, black or white, forgive and forget proposition. It's not a goal to be achieved. It's not a location or destination. It's not a way of bypassing discomfort, realness, or leaving ourselves open to continued or future harm.

In my experience, it's a way of being and living that can be cultivated through continuous effort and Mindful Being. It reflects mercy, kindness, and perhaps a little understanding, sometimes getting the point of when my sponsor told me, "You can be right, or you can be happy, but our shadow side usually doesn't give us the option of having or being both."

It's a conscious and intentional effort to place my values and spiritual principles before and above my personality... mostly and especially my own. Why? Because there's a grinding, reactive, and reflexive aspect in us that hooks the attention through shame, guilt, grudge-holding, resentment, anxiety, and self-righteousness that keeps us in an endless loop of conflict and war with ourselves and others, keeping us in churn as we crave and seek so-called "Justice" to soothe our hurts.

Choosing mercy counteracts these draining states of mind, opening the closed fist of attention, fixation, and obsession. It opens the path to greater wholeness, freedom, and peace within myself and my relationships. The path is not always smooth, but it is the surest road to freedom - inward and in relationship with others. That said, forgiveness can look very different from person to person. Almost like an adventure, we have to discover what that looks like and means for us, so that we have an opportunity to experience peace as we understand it in a given moment.

6 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page