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Dealing With Toxic People


These are some meeting notes that I came across this morning, that I was using as reflection points, during my morning meditation. Perhaps they could be useful for you.


Solutions Group 10/27/15 | Notes and Reflections


Topics: We admitted we're powerless over toxic people and depending on how we deal with them, we can make our lives terribly unmanageable.


• It's okay to admit that in the face of powerlessness, we often experience fear.


• Powerlessness implies a negative, but it's also positive because once I recognize that, I'm free to do something else, rather than engage in a power struggle.


• When’s the last time I’ve won a power struggle with someone, much less being actually involved in that collision?


• We can't reason with people if it's not their intention to be reasoned with. When one's caught in the grip of their thought storm, they're in the storm of what's in their head, not with us. Surrender is sometimes not just letting go in that moment, but also not holding on. There's a difference.


• I cannot swim in pools of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual toxicity and not become ill.


• Don't own problems that aren't ours. We often suffer needlessly by believing we should be able to control others problem or that their actions reflect our personal sense of self-worth.


• It's not people that drive me up the wall. It's the thoughts that I experience in my head that are about what other people "should be doing" and aren't, that's driving me up the wall. That means I need to not only ignore the stories but the storyteller... All the stories are crap and will always be crap.


Ruth After Meeting Meet Up Notes:


• Don't cut into sacred time.


• Don't subscribe to and participate in _needless_ suffering. What does that look like for me... needful vs. needless? Discover and understand. That's essential.


• I don't know, but I'm willing to know...patience and listening.


• Remember the experience and not the words.


• Living under the projections of others isn't happiness. Heal your relationship with yourself before others. Give yourself time and space to determine your own goals based on your own needs and values.


• Don't feel obligated to please people or meet unrealistic expectations. Your purpose and joy come from within, not from what others project onto you.


• Whose goal is this? Is it mine or someone else's?


• Am I worth staying around for? People haven't left because of something you haven't lived up to. They left because their goals changed, and that's okay. That's a part of what freedom is... the right to decide different goals for ourselves.


• Be in the room of your life, not in the hallway.


• I am here to heal the relationship with my inner voice.


一Dignity and Grace

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