I wrote this Truth and Awarness Inventory for myself and others I work with in that direction. It could be helpful to others, as it's been for me, based on my personal recovery work and what I've learned from others.
Feel free to reframe and modify questions. A community that works together, grows, recovers, and thrives together.
--Dignity and Grace // Seiho
1. Reflect on times you've compromised your needs to please or caretake others. How did this impact your self-worth and wellbeing? What could you do to honor your needs moving forward?
2. Consider moments you've struggled with boundary setting. What prevented you from expressing your needs? How can you practice asserting yourself while respecting others?
3. Recall times you've felt responsible for others' happiness/problems. What fueled this feeling of responsibility? How can you separate your experience from others' while being supportive?
4. Have you changed your behavior to avoid conflict/rejection? How did this affect your self-expression? What boundaries could you set to honor your needs while engaging compassionately?
5. Think of times you've sacrificed your needs for relationships. How did this imbalance affect you? What could you do to nurture more reciprocity and care for yourself?
6. Have you ignored personal goals to maintain harmony? What dreams of yours have been neglected? How could you pursue them while respecting others' needs too?
7. Do you often feel anxious about other's needs/moods? Where does this anxiety stem from? How can you manage anxiety and prioritize your peace?
8. Consider times you've struggled receiving love/care. What made you feel undeserving? How can you open up to support and practice self-compassion?
9. Have you stayed in unfulfilling situations to avoid guilt/blame? Why was leaving difficult? How could you respectfully prioritize your fulfillment?
10. Reflect on your motivations in relationships. Have people pleasing or caretaking tendencies driven your actions? How could you act from a place of authenticity?
11. Think of ways you've minimized your own needs. How could you express your needs while respecting others? What would a healthy balance look like for you?
12. Have you felt excessive shame or inadequacy about yourself? Where did these feelings originate? How could you cultivate self-acceptance and inner security?
13. Consider times jealousy or envy have arisen. What unmet needs fueled these feelings? How could you acknowledge and fulfill those needs in a healthy manner?
14. Recall moments you felt inferior or less-than. What caused these feelings? How could you cultivate greater self-worth and confidence in your value?
15. Reflect on times you felt superior or above others. What insecurities fueled this? How can you see yourself and others as equally worthy and connected?
16. Have you been overly self-reliant or disconnected from asking for help? What prevented you seeking support? How could you open up to interdependence?
17. Consider how external validation seeking has impacted you. What is the balance between internal and external worth for you? How could you cultivate inner security?
18. Reflect on times anger or resentment arose. What unmet needs fueled these emotions? How could you express your needs clearly while managing anger constructively?
19. Have you accepted mistreatment to avoid loss? Why was loss so difficult for you? How could you develop inner security to stand up for yourself?
20. Think of times you've felt anxious about stability/security. Where did this anxiety originate? What could provide you a greater sense of internal security?
21. Consider how past experiences may impact your attachment patterns today. What boundaries could you set to feel safe while connecting with others?
22. Do you give excessively to feel valued? What prevent you receiving from others? How could you open up to more mutual care and vulnerability?
23. Have you isolated yourself out of shame or low self-worth? What would help you feel worthy of connection while honoring your needs?
24. Reflect on times fear of judgment made you hide your struggles. What could enable you to open up and realize you are worthy beyond others' opinions?
25. Have you stayed silent to keep the peace? What prevented you from sharing your true feelings? How could you express yourself while being sensitive to others?
26. Consider how perfectionistic tendencies may impact you. Could you accept your humanity, flaws and all, while still pursuing growth?
27. Notice when people pleasing or conformity drives your actions. What would help you connect to your inner wisdom and act on what's right for you?
28. Think of ways you may seek validation through accomplishments. How could you separate your worth from achievement while still pursuing goals?
29. Have you maintained ineffective coping mechanisms due to fear of change? What support might help you take steps towards healthier patterns?
30. Reflect on how comparison and envy have impacted you. How could you appreciate yourself and your life as it is, right now in this moment?
31. Consider how scarcity mindsets have affected you. How could you see life as abundantly supporting you, opening up to receive what you need?
32. What would a life of inner security, healthy boundaries, and self-compassion look like for you? Envision this, and take small steps to make it a reality.