In my personal recovery, I gradually realized that I needed to accept the responsibility of loving myself, instead of expecting others to do that for me, in the way I was hoping. That was a reflexive reaction to an incredibly confusing childhood. Before that realization, I craved and chased unconditional acceptance, approval, and what the childhood conditioning told me was "love," leaving me to run like an Olympic athlete to prove my worth, in the Love and Acceptance Olympics. At other times in my life, I'd waited for others to fill my inner void... to help complete me, falssely assuming that needed to happen cause I was "broken" or "damaged goods." I was clinging to fantasies of being loved like people in movies. In doing so, I neglected the loving presence within me.
As I engaged in the work of recovery—beyond just intellectualizing and thinking about it— my sponsor and others in the fellowship helped me to learned and apply spiritual principles and values on physical, emotional, and spiritual levels. This moneotring and practice led to an awakening, helping me gradually like and then love myself. By healing the relationship with myself... which meant purging the childhood conditioning, give myself persmission to update and revise my understanding of myself and certain ideas like "happiness" and "love."
Going from unrealistic to real, I progressively learned to acknowledge, rather than ignore, my feelings, experiences, and values. Because of the therapeutic value of one addict, helping another, I learned to love myself unconditionally, without having to jump through hoops. This process... the pathway of inner peace, placed me on a journey of healing and freedom from conditioned suffering... wounds ...and unhealthy conditioning - that had me walking in circles without going truly forward. In this way I was taught to re-integrate the energy speant in bullshit narratives, revealing my innate wholeness. I realized I was neither 'broken' nor 'damaged goods' in need of rescue, or waiting for someone to pick me up in the clearance aisle and take me 'home' to be put on their shelf.
I came to accept that I didn't need to run a marketing campaign for others' care or love. Instead, I learned to tenderly attend to my own feelings and needs, allowing for autonomous interdependence. Embracing my inherent worth, I re-connected with the Source of Love within me and at the same time, that which is all around me, that's within You as opposed on the surface of you, which vast and unconditional. This is sometimes experienced as placing Principle before the personality that's Universal Loving Presence.
Self-acceptance is indeed an inside job, not merely a theoretical concept. By turning inward with compassion, we strengthen our ability to love our entire selves, not just parts of us. For me, this meant embracing my playful spirit, open heart, deep sense of interconnectedness, idiosyncrasies, and even my karma as a Zen monk. My happiness stems from cherishing these unique aspects of myself, rather than ignoring or rebelling agasint them.
By dedicating time to my primary purpose—actively and intentionally healing my wounds—I now get to recognize my worthiness of self-care and attention. Each day is an opportunity to honor feelings, forgive personal limitations, understand others' limitations, celebrate my talents, fulfill my deepest intuitions, and dynamically create the person I am destined to be. One breath and step at a time, I walk the path of unconditional self-love, accompanied by others on similar journeys, as we guide each other home. This, in its own way, might be the greatest love of all.
You are cordially invited to consciously and intentionally Love Yourself uncondtionally too... In your own Way, sourced in Goodwill and Creative action of the spirit.
一Evolve Love with L/O/V/E