Reflections on being here for mortals that can be particularly messy… a Love Story | Mudo Seiho Morris
Sometimes people in our lives are a big problem to themselves. Whether they understand it or not, they're chasing or chased after self-destruction on the time payment plan, passively or actively rebelling against their own values and community of support that love them. At the same time, they can expect others to accept responsibility for their bad choices.
This can include cleaning up the mess they've made of their moment or life cause they have no way of doing so on their own, in a realistic way. The line between supporting and enabling can be confusing and thin.
In my experience, this is where the hard thoughts and feelings can set in for family and friends, bearing witness to the results of pain that creates the result of suffering. It's not easy for anyone involved in such things. It can be exhausting to try and help clean up and clear up many problems we didn't create. I call it "the grief of being left holding the bag." We didn't create it. We didn't cause it. We cannot magically cure it. The question in such moments is, how do we meet life on life's terms, supporting in wise ways instead of enabling?
In that grief... in any place... and at any moment... denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance can emerge. For me, in my grief and sorrow, the key to meeting it is my practice. It supports me in being clearer, more composed, discerning, saner, and more solid than if I didn't have it.
It gives me the chance to regroup and recalibrate, acknowledging at times like this I'm not 100% my natural self, but as long as I stick to the basics of practice... stop... sit in meditation... make conscious contact with my breathing... allow the thoughts to be themselves and for me to be myself... listen to what my own internal needs are, and take action in meeting them in a healthy way, that's me keeping it real, without pretending away or spiritual bypassing through the moment.
It doesn't have to be mental and emotional ballet. It doesn't have to be pretty. It's okay to do it messy. It could just be candid, vulnerable, and straight up. It just has to be me sticking to a practice that has never failed me and maintaining integrity with my values, trusting myself and my intentions rather than doubting them. That's my experience today, meeting the human condition to the best of my ability.
一We Are the Practice Itself