Doing My Part Not to Be A Part of the Causes and Conditions of Suffering

If we're the type of person who's argumentative... combative... contentious... skeptic, consistently leading with the hard edge of personality... because we choose to put it before principle, and then shrugging it off like, "Well, that's just how I am"… what is the cost? What is the consequence to our relationships?

Do we build trust, or do we damage it? Do we inject uncertainty and invite anxiety, or do we bring forward comfort, love, safety, and trust?

Part of Step Nine and making amends... healing the tears in our relationships... is expanding and extending awareness of the impact of my words, my tone, and my behavior. Amends isn't about apologizing for what happened in the past. That's restitution. Amend's is about learning how to live in a healthier way with self and others in the here and now… becoming more attentive to how I affect other people and practicing ways of decreasing harm rather than doubling down it.

At some point, "that's just how I am" may be less an explanation and more an expression of rebellious aspect of our disease... a refusal to look at how who and how we are affects the people around us. As Jimmy Kinnon said "we can be fully whole, and wholly free, as a result of goodwill and creative action of the spirit."

一Dignity and Grace without need for further Restitution