In coming to recovery, one of the earliest awakenings I had about my disease was about how badly I'd been deceiving myself, about so many things. As a result, persistent unmanageability wasn't accidental. It was a feature based on self-deception.
It was through the generosity and benefit of receiving the experience, vision, hearing, compassion, care, and dignity... being guided out of the delusion that I was freed from the insanity that influenced me to be in conflict with myself, others, and Reality. Perhaps one definition of recovery from addiction could be, no longer deceiving self or so-called other, not just able to speak our truth, but live it with dignity and grace as well.
Just for today, I will talk to my mentor, sponsor, or friends who are actively engaged in growing spiritually, asking them about their experiences in being freed from self-deception, and what it has meant for them.
無欺人 | Mu Jî Jin | Not being deceived by oneself.